Love, Not Lust
by rachelalala
Summary: Katniss wonders why Peeta implied that he is not pure. Post Mockingjay, just fluff. Also my very first fanfic so be nice


The subject had been weighing on her mind for a while now. After the months of depression, of loneliness, of isolation, of _torture_, he had come back, and they had grown back together, in every way they could be together. The past few weeks had been pure joy, a feeling she was still getting used to. Their days were passed with their usual routine - he bakes, she hunts, they eat dinner together. Then the nights - they were what had made these past few weeks ones of joy, and happiness, and excitement, and fire, and _pleasure_. They were what had made the two of them completely and wholly together, and this together was surely real and would make the rest of their lives just... better.

So this subject was naturally on her mind now that she could actually acknowledge the feeling of curiosity, other than her just withstanding the constant hollowness. Katniss's mind flew back to those days - those days that felt like centuries ago, rather than one measly year - when she had been teased for once in her life and had been _embarrassed_ for an even smaller once in her life about her purity. The embarrassment still bit at her, but she was more concerned with the fact that even Peeta had laughed at her for this baggage. Purity. He laughed. Why did he laugh? Who the hell gave him cause to allow him to laugh?

Katniss glanced up at him - the _impure_ one. Something besides embarrassment bit at her. A much stronger feeling dragged at her very raw and very new emotions, but she couldn't place the feeling. She sighed quickly and just decided to get it over with. This wasn't exactly going to be one of her favorite conversations with him, she could tell, but the curiosity kept poking at her fragile heart and made her speak up. "Who else did you sleep with?" She was never as good with words as he was. She immediately regretted the harsh voice she used, but the fire within her had been lit again and she couldn't exactly control it.

Peeta caught her gray eyes and raised his eyebrows a little while a small smile played at his lips, just barely. The smile was partly out of amusement, partly out of caution. He could sense a storm before it came - that was why he always managed to take the necessary steps before each hijack episode - calm himself down, elicit pain, or get away from Katniss if it was bad enough. But this was a different kind of storm. He wasn't prepared for it.

Katniss seemed to gauge from his reaction that this kind of question required more of an explanation from her assumption. "In the Quell you said I was pure... like you weren't. Who did you sleep with?" She cursed her demanding attitude. Why couldn't she have been better with her words? Or at least less hostile.

Peeta let out an easy laugh. It was almost reassuring that some problem so trivial could still exist in their world. It would be more reassuring if Katniss wasn't looking at him like she just might go get her bow. "Katniss, how could that matter? You know I love you." He still liked to profess his love for her given any available opportunity. Her glare didn't relent, even though inside she secretly melted a little at hearing those three words again. "It was all before the Games. You weren't even a part of my life then."

"But you had sex before?" She asked. There was a small hint of hope - hope which Peeta had taught her to do - but that was burned to ash as he confirmed his past relations. She instead felt the hope be replaced by another feeling - one of contempt. She almost didn't know what to do with these feelings now that they flowed from her. This isolated shell of a girl was finally feeling again, but these feelings - this unexplainable anger - were unfamiliar. Well, the anger was familiar. It was the irrationality that swung her.

His smile returned as he registered what she was unaware of. Oh, how this world was so twisted! He was getting what he wanted all along - with a deep price he'd rather not think about right now - and he was so thoroughly enjoying it that he actually reveled in her jealousy. She, Katniss Everdeen - _Mellark one day_, he let himself think - was jealous of whoever had touched Peeta Mellark. Really, his bright smile could make this sun go to shame. "Katniss, you're jealous!" His ego was enjoying this.

"Am not!" She briefly registered the very high octave of which her voice had grown. This only made her jump from the rocking chair on which she sat to pound down the porch steps to power walk to... where was she going? Damn. She spun around to be faced with a concerned-looking Peeta right behind her. Before he could get a word in she spat, "Okay, I'm jealous. Yes, I'm jealous! What does it matter? Look, Peeta, this is new to me, so sorry for being unfair, but is it so bad for me to want you all to myself? I don't want anyone to look at you, to touch you, to even _think_ about you like that because you're mine, no one else's, all mine," she finished with a huff.

He looked down at her with a small smile. "I am all yours." She scoffed in return. "Katniss, believe me, I'm all yours. You and I are different. Sex with them was -"

"Them?" Her eyes widened, nostrils flared, chest rose, and he couldn't help comparing her to a bull - a bull that was about to charge right at him. She spun around and continued on with her rage-filled power walk. Before she could get more than three steps away, he had her by the arm, turning her to face him, and held her so she looked straight into his blue eyes. "Just listen to me." He laid his hands - strong, beautiful, soft hands used to bake, to paint, to create... to caress her face... - on her upper arms and said, "Katniss, you know I've only loved you. Like I told you before, about every girl caught my attention, but none of them could make a lasting impression on you. Yes, there was a 'them,' as in two girls I dated for a while. But sex with them -" She looked down. He lifted her chin. "- Sex with them was just that. Sex. But with you -" His blue eyes were molten sapphire while his voice held reverence, as if speaking of a completely different topic. "- we make love. And that is so much more than just sex. With you..." Peeta, for once was at a loss for words. Instead, he used the thumb and forefinger he already had on her chin to tilt her face up for a kiss.

The kiss spoke every word Peeta could not give justice to. It spoke of love. Of sweetness, of passion, and of lust. His lips were the perfect balance of softness and firmness. Katniss thought Peeta was a rather talented kisser, but chose to ignore the fact that it was probably because of all the practice he had. The kiss could have led to so much more if only they let it. Instead Peeta pulled away to gaze into her eyes, hoping to convey how much he meant every word he had confessed.

"With you, it's love, not lust... Although, there is some of that there." He smiled rakishly and cherished her blush. Still so pure after everything they'd done.


End file.
